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Identifying cases to exempt and cases to mediate is difficult. When there has been a "culture of battering," an exemption for spouse-abuse cases is necessary. When the abuse has been less severe, involving only isolated acts of abuse that did not allow one party to control the other, often the parties can safely and fairly mediate. In relationships with a culture of battering, three elements are present: first, there is always some abuse, either physical, emotional, sexual, or economic; second, there is a systematic pattern of domination and control by the batterer; third, and finally, the victim hides, denies, and minimizes the abuse. Once the parameters of abuse are defined, a participant must determine whether the abuse has affected a relationship to the extent that mediation is inappropriate. In order to make such a determination, each participant screens both parties. The screener asks questions about the many levels and forms of abuse, including physical, sexual, economic, and emotional. Discerning the parties' degree of risk and need for safety may be a hard task. Fearing threats or injury, a battered party may have difficulty responding to screening questions, thereby hiding signs of domestic violence. Secrecy and distortions shroud the complex dynamics of domestic violence. Therefore, a screener should not minimize any disclosure, even an isolated incident, of abusive behaviour. Screeners need an understanding of a party's exposure to violence and abuse, the strategies used for protection of the victim, and the ways violence affects a party psychologically, physically, economically, and socially. The screener should understand that domestic abuse is a "pattern of interaction that inevitably changes the dynamics of the intimate relationship within which it occurs." This abuse is not simply a pattern of episodes occurring over time or a list of aggressive behaviours calculated to see who won a fight. Often both parties understand the meaning of specific actions and words within the context of their relationship. A simple statement, such as "remember last Thanksgiving," can serve as a control mechanism, acting as a reminder of past battering and a warning to beware. Abused parties must comply or suffer the consequences. Before each proposed mediation, screeners must distinguish between a relationship where the parties still are able to mediate on equal terms, despite prior episodes of abuse, and a relationship experiencing a culture of battering, in which mediation on equal terms is impossible. Even a trained mediator is likely to find this task difficult. During its first year, the Alachua County Mandatory Family Mediation Program in Florida received written responses to a pre-mediation screening questionnaire from seventy-eight women and seventy-four men. Asked whether there was physical abuse in their relationship, thirty-seven women and twenty-two men answered "yes." When asked about mental or emotional abuse, fifty-six women and thirty-seven men "yes." Twenty-one women and sixteen men also reported alcohol or drug abuse during their relationships. If either party fears the other, mediation on equal grounds is unlikely. When asked if they currently felt afraid for any reason, twenty women and eleven men stated "yes." However, when asked if they were currently afraid of physical harm, six women and four men answered "yes." Twenty-four women and sixteen men indicated they feared their partners' ways of expressing anger. Results of these limited-screening questionnaires suggest that abuse is more common in relationships than the national statistics indicate. The survey also asked questions to determine whether parties communicated despite abuse. The first screening survey asked general questions regarding communication. When asked whether they were less able to communicate on an equal basis because of the anger level or abuse, twenty-nine women and twenty-three men answered "yes." When asked if they had an "equal say" in their relationship, sixteen women and twenty-three men indicated they did. Although the initial survey did not specifically ask about communication during mediation, a revised survey asked specific mediation questions, for example: "Do you believe you would be able to communicate with your spouse on an equal basis in mediation sessions?" Thirty women and thirty-one men responded to the revised survey. Of these, fourteen women and twenty-six men said "yes." Asked whether they were concerned about mediating in the same room as their partner, three women and two men said they were. Although abuse is prevalent (in only three cases did both parties indicate no abuse), few respondents indicated that they felt unable to mediate. In private pre-mediation interviews, following the screening questionnaires, every respondent indicated a desire to try mediation. This response was surprising, given the expectation that some parties would say they did not want to mediate. |
